Communication Is a Two-Way Street — Are You Doing Your Part?

You explain the project. You feel you have given clear instructions. You even check in a couple of days later. And that’s when you realize something got lost in translation.

The result? Confusion. Frustration. Disappointment.

What went wrong?

You might have been holding the head of the hammer, handle outstretched toward them — but they didn’t fully grab the handle.

The Hammer Metaphor of Communication:

We can think about communicating a message like handing someone a hammer. You’re holding the hammer by the head and offering your counterpart the handle. You assume they’ll reach out and grab it. But what if they don’t? What if their grasp is tentative—what if when you let go of the head of the hammer, it falls to the ground. 

Your intention is to be clear and you think you are being clear. But clarity doesn’t live in your words—it lives in how your words are received. 

How they are interpreted by your counterpart. 

How they are filtered by your counterpart’s experience.

What’s the fix? The military actually has a brilliant solution to the problem of a dropped hammer. Of course they do, because if the hammer drops in the military, lives can be lost. Maybe many lives.

The solution is called “HUA”: Heard, Understood, Acknowledged.

• Heard: Did they physically hear what you said?

• Understood: Did they interpret your message the way you intended?

• Acknowledged: Did they confirm they correctly interpreted your message?
  

If any one of these elements is missing, it means communication has not taken place. You and your counterpart are not aligned—and mistakes can be made.

Why Misunderstandings Happen

Misunderstandings can happen for many reasons. Sometimes cultural differences get in the way. Other times it could be assumptions, stress or how someone processes information. 

You may say, “Can you please take care of this as soon as possible?” and they interpret that as “Can you please take care of this when you have time.”

You meant “urgent.” They heard “at their leisure.”

💥 And that’s how a reasonable request can turn into an avoidable mess.

The Fix? Make HUA a Habit.

One way to become a more effective communicator is to ensure that your message isn’t just sent - it is also received.

• Check for clarity: “Is there anything that is unclear about what I’ve just said?”
  

• Ask for feedback: “What’s your takeaway from this?”
  

• Get confirmation: “Do you understand what to do next?”

Because communication hasn’t truly taken place unless the other person can hand the hammer back to you —confidently gripping the head and offering you the handle.

A Final Thought:

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “I think that went well.” then later found out it didn’t, you’re not alone.

Effective communication isn’t about saying more. It’s about making sure what you’ve said has been understood—and stuck.

🛠Do you want (or know you need) help refining how you’re heard, understood, and acknowledged by team members, people from other cultures, and different leadership levels? Let’s talk.

Click HERE to Schedule a free Discovery Call and let's chat about how we can improve your communication skills.