One Thing Group Communication Skills Training Can't Give You, And Why It Matters
I’ve delivered a lot of group training programs for communication and public speaking over the years and they have a lot going for them. They create community, they offer a space to practice, and they introduce you to a room full of people who share the same goal: becoming a better communicator. For many professionals, programs like Toastmasters and corporate communication workshops are a valuable starting point, and I say that without reservation.
But there is one thing group training programs struggle to deliver consistently. And for professionals who are serious about making a real, lasting change in how they communicate, it's the thing that matters most:
Honest, specific, individual feedback.
Sometimes what you are struggling with is complicated and personal.
You don’t need to hear, "Great Job!" or "You did well considering how nervous you were."
What you want and need is honest feedback (delivered with empathy) that specifically tells you what is getting in your way, and exactly what you can do about it.
Filling that gap is precisely where individual coaching comes in.
Why Group Settings Make Honest Feedback Difficult
There's a dynamic I've observed repeatedly, in Toastmasters groups and corporate training rooms alike: when people are asked to give feedback to a peer in a group setting, they soften it.
Sometimes significantly.
This doesn’t happen because people are dishonest. It happens because giving sensitive feedback to someone you might have just met — in front of a room full of other people you've probably just met too — is socially uncomfortable. The natural impulse is to focus on what went well, mention a small area for improvement, and then return to the rest of what went well. It feels kind. It feels safe. And in that moment, it is.
But here's what that kind of “soft” feedback doesn't do:
It doesn't let the speaker know that they are speaking far too quickly for their audience to follow.
It doesn't point out that they trail off at the end of every sentence, interrupting their message.
It doesn't help them become aware of the filler word they use every thirty seconds, or the way they avoid eye contact precisely when they're making their most critical point.
In other words, it doesn’t help the speaker change and grow.
Don’t get me wrong. We don’t want to give direct, harsh feedback that it kills any confidence the speaker might have had.
But, there is a significant difference between feedback that makes you feel good in the moment and feedback that makes you better over time. Individual coaching is built around the second kind.
Even in the Best Programs, Feedback Variability Exists
I want to be clear: I'm not suggesting that group training programs don't work. They definitely have a place and make an impact. Many people swear by Toastmasters, a program that has helped thousands, if not millions, become more comfortable and capable public speakers.
I was in a Toastmaster’s group myself in Boulder, Colorado many years ago.
But, one thing I've noticed is that the quality of feedback can vary across different Toastmasters groups. Some groups have experienced members who offer honest, direct feedback and genuinely challenge their newer members. Others may lack experienced members, or have settled into a culture of encouragement where the feedback rarely goes beyond the surface.
The difference isn't about poor intentions. It's about skill, experience, and, critically, the dynamics of a volunteer group where everyone is there to improve their own skills. Asking a fellow participant to give you the kind of feedback a professional coach would give is asking a lot. The coach has a different skill set entirely.
I get that group programs are often affordable and they are not a bad place to start. But if you're considering joining a group program, visit a few sessions as an observer and find out what the feedback culture is before you commit. Is this a group that will tell you the truth? Or is it a group that celebrates effort but avoids the hard conversations?
Both types of groups exist. Only the one that offers direct feedback will help you move forward so you can accomplish your goals.
What Individual Coaching Looks Like
When you sign up for individual coaching, there is nowhere to hide.
When I work with a client 1:1, I take a holistic approach. I’m not just listening to the words they are saying and noting how they are put together. I’m also paying attention to how fast they are speaking, their intonation patterns (and what they are communicating), their body language (and what that is communicating), their use of filler words and sounds. I’m also watching listening for the moments where their delivery and their verbal message don’t match up.
Many times the habits I observe are so ingrained they've become invisible to the person themselves. They are in their blind spot.
If you are my client, my job is to tell you what I see and hear. Directly, specifically and kindly. I may soften a comment so you can hear it, but eventually the truth comes out, frequently from your mouth (especially if we’ve used video).
It is also my responsibility to help you understand how others see and hear you. Not because I want to make you feel bad; quite the opposite. Honest feedback, delivered with care and a genuine investment in your success, is one of the most respectful things I can offer my clients. It says: “I believe you are capable of better, and I'm going to help you get there.”
The specificity of the feedback also matters. There is a world of difference between "You seemed a little nervous." and "Your nerves are causing you to speed up in the second half of your sentences, which is causing the audience to lose your point.”
Generic feedback produces so-so improvement. Specific feedback, the kind that names the exact habit, the impact it is having, and what to do instead, is what produces real, lasting behavior change.
When 1:1 Coaching Is Appropriate
Group training, by definition, has to stay on the road that works for most people most of the time. But some communication challenges are deeply individual. They're not the kind of issue a group course can address because not everyone in the room shares the challenge.
The executive who goes blank the moment she's put on the spot by an unexpected question; The leader whose voice loses all authority when he's delivering difficult news. The professional who is articulate and compelling in one-on-one conversations but loses herself completely the moment she's in front of a group. The subject matter expert who knows his content backward and forward, but gets uncontrollably (and inexplicably) nervous in high-stakes situations.
These are real, disruptive, specific challenges that require specific, sometimes nuanced solutions. Working 1:1 with an experienced coach allows you to get to the root of the problem and find the right solution to correct it.
For professionals who are just starting out on their journey to become better communicators, group training can be a great fit. But for professionals who have a specific, persistent issue that group training hasn't helped solve, it might be time to consider individual coaching.
What Becomes Possible When You Get the Feedback Need
I've worked with clients who have made real progress in group training programs. But they’ve gotten feedback that their communication skills are not aligned with their role. Or they’ve been derailed by a particular high-stakes situation. Or they detect a level of presence in others that they can’t seem to access themselves. That’s when they seek me out, because they know they need to take their skills to the next level and they need help getting there.
In most cases, what they need is not just more practice. They need someone with the right skill set who is willing to look and listen closely enough — and care enough — to tell them they truth about what is in their way.
Once they get that feedback, progress happens quickly. Because the right feedback, given at the right moment by an experienced coach who knows what they're looking for, doesn't just correct a bad habit. It allows the client to become someone who trusts themselves as a communicator. And this is the transformation that allows them to move forward on their professional journey.
Are You Ready for Feedback That Moves You Forward?
If you've been working on your communication skills and feel like you've hit a wall, or if you've never had someone give you truly honest, specific feedback on how you come across, I'd love to help you. This is exactly the work I do, and I do it with both honesty and genuine care for my clients and where they want to go.
👉 Schedule a free discovery call and let's talk about what honest, targeted feedback could unlock for you.
