What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You—Especially When You Communicate
Leadership Communication Starts with Learning to See What You Can’t See
Have you ever been caught off guard by how someone else perceives you?
Maybe a colleague asked if you realize that you interrupt others often, and you had no idea. Or maybe someone reacted negatively because your tone came off as dismissive, even though you were just trying to be efficient.
At first, you might be shocked or feel defensive when you get this kind of feedback. But then, hopefully, it clicks.
This is powerful feedback. The kind we should be grateful for.
The Johari Window can help us conceptualize feedback.
What Is the Johari Window?
Developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955, the Johari Window is a model of self-awareness.
It breaks down what we know about ourselves, and what others know about us, into four key quadrants.
Given that we take all of ourselves to work, each quadrant impacts how we show up in conversations, relationships, and leadership roles.
Let’s Talk About the Blind Self
The Blind Self is the part of ourselves that often causes communication to break down. We enact behaviors, habits, or tones that others see and hear (and react to) but that we are unaware of.
For leaders, this might show up as:
Sounding harsh when you’re trying to be direct
Seeming unapproachable when you’re deep in thought
Talking more than listening—even if you think you’re asking questions
These blind spots don’t mean you’re an intentionally bad communicator. However, these behaviors can block trust, connection, and influence. And the only way you’re going to know about them is if someone tells you.
That’s why the upper-right hand quadrant of the Johari Window is where feedback lives. We have to rely on trusted others to clue us in about problematic behaviors. And in order for them to feel comfortable sharing with us, we have to be open to feedback.
Why It Matters for Leadership
Communication is more than just what you say. It’s how people experience you.
Effective leaders regularly ask themselves:
What am I not seeing about how I communicate?
What do people experience when meeting with me?
Is there a disconnect between my intent and my impact?
The Johari Window reminds us: self-awareness isn’t static. It expands every time we get honest, specific feedback—and act on it.
How to Expand Your “Open Self” and Shrink the Blind Spot
Here’s how you can apply the Johari Window to improve your leadership communication:
✅ Invite feedback from trusted sources
Ask people whose opinion you trust, “What is something I say or do in meetings that I might not be aware of?” Or “Is there a time I’ve miscommunicated without realizing it?”
✅ Reflect before you react
When feedback surprises you (or annoys you), notice your reaction, and then ask yourself, Could this be true? Is this something I do that I’m not aware I do?
✅ Hire a coach
A good coach will help you see what’s in your blind spot, then help you make the corrections you need to communicate with more clarity, presence, and impact.
Final Thought:
The Johari Window Model is a powerful reminder that self-awareness is crucial to your ability to influence.
And the good news? You don’t have to figure it out alone.
🗣️ If you’re ready to uncover what’s actually shaping your communication and expand the version of yourself that you and the world sees—let’s talk.
